Re: [GSAS-board] Draft of Thanks Letter

[Erik Olson <erik@thekrib.com>]

Hey Paul, it's very well written!  The only suggestions I'd have are 
fixing some of the punctuation to clarify some of the sentences.

paragraph 1: semicolon between "activities; including special" should be 
changed to a comma.

paragraph 2, same thing: semicolon between "club; from" should be changed 
to a comma.

paragraph 3: too many aside, maybe try a parenthesis and an extra comma: 
"As Northwest Aquaria (the newsletter containing articles written by 
members, and information about GSAS programs) is now fully digital, I am 
including our May issue and would be happy..."

   - Erik


On Mon, 18 May 2009, Paul M. Wallace wrote:

> First draft is attached, please tell me what I am doing wrong.  Bonus points 
> for how to fix it.)
>
> -Paul
>

-- 
Erik Olson
erik at thekrib dot com
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